Whatsapp Long Jokes Hindi – Whatsapp Joke In Hindi Language

 

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Teacher Staff Meeting Ke Baad Class Mein Aayi Aur Bacho Se Boli
Teacher: “Bacho Suno, Kal Tum Sab 50 Rupees Leke Aayoge Aap Sab Logo Ka Kal Group Photo Hoga Aur Proper Dress Mein Aana Hai.Chalo Jao Ab Chhutti.”
School Se Bahar Aakar Sonu Apne Freind Monu Se
“Madarchod, Yaar Ye Sab In Teachers Ki Mili Bhagat Hoti Hai,
Ek Photo Ke Bahar Se 20 Rs Lagte Hain Aur Humse 50-50rs Magwaye Hain.
Matlab Ek Bache Se 30rs Bachayenge, Iska Matlab Ek Class Mein Se 1800rs, Aur Pure School Mein Se Approximately 10000rs.
In Bahan Ke Lodo Ne Khuli Loot Macha Rakhi Hai.”
Monu Ek Dum Se Bola: “Ye Sab Commision Ka Chakkar Hai Bhai, Sab Principal Ki Maa Chudi Hai.”
Sonu Gusse Se: “Baad Mein Ye Bhen Ke Lode Hamare Paiso Se Staff Room Mein Baith Kar Samose Khayenge Aur Humein Kya Lund Milega?”
Sonu Thoda Thanda Hokar: “Chal Maa Ko Chod Principal Ki,Yaar Monu Ghar Chalte Hain Aur Bhalai Isi Mein Hai Ki Kal 50rs Le Aaye.”
Sonu Ghar Jaakar: “Mummy Kal School Mein Group Photo Honi Hai, Teacher Ne 100 Rs Mangwaye Hain.”.

 

Sorry Yaar Kitne Din Se Message Nahi Kiya,
Bura Mat Manana
Galti Meri Hi Thi
Lekin Abb Mujhe Pata Lag Gaya Hai AIDS Ke Mariz Ko Message Bhejne Se AIDS Nahi Hota

 

Ek Aadmi Roj Vaishyalay Mein Jata Tha Aur Wahan Ki Sabhi Randiyo Ko Chod Chuka Tha.
Uska Beta Bhi Usi Ke Upar Gaya Tha, Jab Wo Bada Hua To Wo Bhi Roj Vaishyalay Mein Jane Laga.
Uske Baap Ko Usper Shak Ho Gaya, Usne Ladke Se Gusse Mein Kaha.
Baap: “Jab Tu Raat Ko Ghar Mein Aata Hai To Mujhe Apni Ungli Sunghaya Kar”
Ladka Bola: “Theek Hai, Papa”
Dusre Din Ladka Raat Ko Aaya
Baap Ne Kaha: “Ungli Sungha”
Ladke Ne Ungli Sunghai.
Baap Ne Kaha: “Aaj Tu ‘Sunita‘ Ke Paas Gaya Tha Na?”
Ladka Hairan Hokar Bola: “Haan”
Teesre Din Phir Ladke Ne Ungli Sunghai.
Baap Ne Kaha: “Aaj Tu ‘Kavita‘ Ke Pass Gaya Tha Na?”
Ladke Ne Kaha: “Haan”
Chouthe Din Phir Ladke Ne Ungli Sunghai.
Baap Ne Kaha: “Aaj Tu ‘Reshma‘ Ke Paas Gaya Tha Na?”
Ladke Ne Kaha: “Haan”
Ladka Pareshan Ho Gaya. Vo Samajh Gaya Ki Mera Baap Purana Khiladi Hai.
Ladke Ne Agle Din Apne Baap Ko Sabak Sikhane Ki Sochi Aur Ek Bhains Ki Choot Mein Ungli Daal Di.
Raat Ko Ghar Gaya To Baap Ne Kaha: “Mujhe Apni Ungli Sungha”
Ladke Ne Jaise Hi Ungli Sunghai, Baap Ne Jor Se Ladki Ki Maa Ko Awaaj Lagai.
Baap: “Arri Sunti Ho, Jara Mera Naya Kurta Lana, Bazaar Mein Koi Nayi Chiz Aayi Hai, Souda Kar Ke Aata Hoon“

 

Tina Naam Ki Ladki Apni Familly Ke Saath Rahne Pappu Ko Pados Mein Aayi
Ek Din Tina Apni Maa Ke Paas Aayi Aur Jor-Jor Se Rone Lagi.
Maa Ne Puchha: “Kya Hua Hai Beti Ro Kyu Rahi Ho?”
Tina Rote Hue: “Mummy, Pappu Ne Meri Choot Faad Di”
Maa Gusse Se: “Kyun?”
Tina: “Mene Us Se Pucha Ki Tumhare Mummy – Papa Kya Karte Hain. Wo Land Daal Ke Bola Ye Karte Hain“

 

Hamare Ek Dost Anuj Ke Pados Mein Ek Ladki Rahti Thhi, Bholi Bhali Surat Dekh Kar Usne Usko Fasa Liya.
Ab Dates Pe Jane Ka Silsila Chal Nikla, Kafi Time Tak Ye Chalta Raha Ek Din Anuj Ne Himmat Karke Ladki Ko Kaha
Anuj: “Darling Hamko Aise Hi Ghumte Hue Kaafi Din Ho Gaye Hai Ab Hamein Kuch Aage Bhi Badna Chahiye”
Ladki: “Kya Matlab?”
Anuj: “Agar Tumhe Koi Aitraaz Na Ho To Main Tumhare Sath Sex Karna Chahta Hun”
Ladki: “Ye Kaam To Mene Aaj Tak Kisi Ke Sath Bhi Nahi Kiya”
Anuj: “Achha, To Kya Tum Abhi Tak Virgin Ho?”
Ladki: “Nahi Mera Matlab Tha Ki Mene Aaj Tak Kisi Ko Aitraaz Nahi Jataya“

 

Ye Tab Ki Baat Hai Jab Apna Jai Bus Driver Thha. Uski Bus Mein Roj Ek Khubsurat Si Ladki Jaati Thhi,
Ek Din Ek Hatta Katta Neegro Bus Mein Chada Aur Ladki Ko Dekh Ke Uski Iccha Hui Ki Iske Sath Sex Karu.
Par Usko Samajh Na Aya Ki Vo Kya Kare, So Usne Jai Se Puchha Ki Mene Iske Sath Sex Karna Hai Koi Idea Do.
Jai Bola: “Ye Ladki Jesus Ko Manti Hai Aur Har Sunday Church Mein Jati Hai, Tu Jesus Ke Kapde Aur Mask Pahan Ke Isko Mill Aur Jo Bolega Vo Ye Kar Legi.”
Neegro Ko Idea Pasand Aya Aur Usne Aisa Hi Kiya, Ladki Jab Prayer Kar Rahi Thhi To Aadmi Neegro Se Nikal Ke Aya Aur Bola
Neegro: “I Am God, Mene Tumhari Prayer Suni Aur Main Usko Pura Bhi Karunga Par Pahle Tumhe Mere Sath Sex Karna Hoga”
Ladki Ne Kuch Socha Aur Maan Gayi Par Boli: “Main Sirf anl Sex Karungi Kyunki Main Apni Virginity Barkar Rakhna Chahti Hu”
Neegro Ne Socha Ki Something Is Better Then Nothing, To Vo Maan Gaya.
Dogy Style Mein Sex Ka Pura Maja Lene Ke Baad Aadmi Ladki Par Se Utra Aur Bola.
“Ha Ha I M The Neegro”
Ladki Ne Bhi Apne Chehre Se Mask Utara Aur Boli
“Ha Ha I Am The Bus Driver“

 

Dosto Ek Badkismat Aadmi Ki Kahani Uski Hi Jubaani
Parso Mera Janamdin Tha, Jab Main Subha Utha To Na Meri Biwi Ne Mujhe Wish Kiya Na Hi Mere Bachho Ne
Main Bade Dukhi Man Se Ghar Se Bahar Aya Aur Apne Friend Ko Car Mein Bitha Ke Office Jane Laga
Hairani Ki Baat, Mere Friend Ne Bhi Mujhe Birthday Wish Nahi Kiya
Bahut Udasi Se Main Jaise Hi Apne Cabin Mein Enter Karne Laga
Meri Khoobsurat Seceratry Boli: “Happy Birthday Sir”
Main To Khushi Se Foola Na Samaya, Fir Usne Mujhe Kaha Ki Ek Sath Lunch Karte Hai
Lunch Karne Ke Bad, Vo Boli: “Kya Aap Mere Sath Mere Ghar Chaloge, Aapko Kuch Special Dena Tha”
Main Bada Khush Hua Aur Uske Sath Uske Ghar Pahuncha
Mujhe Apne Bedroom Mein Bitha Ke Vo Boli: “Sir, Main 5 Minute Mein Bathrrom Se Hokar Aayi”
Mene Khush Hoke Kaha: “Ok”
Kuch Der Bad Vo Ander Aayi, Uske Hath Mein Ek Birthday Cake Tha
Aur Uske Sath Mere Biwi, Mere Bache Aur Mera Dost Thha
Aur Main Uske Intezar Mein Bed Pe Nanga Betha Tha.
Ek Baar Teen Aadmi Jinko Apni Jaati (Cast) Maloom Nahi Thi, Sawami Lunnacharya Ke Paas Jate Hai Aur Bole.

 

Sawami Ji Hum Teeno Ko Hamari Jaati Maloom Nahi Hai, Kripa Karke Hamari Jaat Bata Dijiye.
Ab Apne Sawami Ji The To Tharki Hi, Kafi Dino Se Koi Aurat Nahi Fasi Thi To Socha Ki Aj Inse Hi Kam Chala Leta Hu
Sawami Ji Bole Ki Tum Teeno Apne Kapde Utar Kar Khade Ho Jaao.
Sabse Pahle Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Bole: “Beta, Tere Aage Baal Nahi Hai, Piche Khadde Mein Baal Hai To Tu Khandelwal Hai”
Ab Dusre Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Ji Bole: “Beta, Tere Khadde Mein Baal Nahi Hai Aage Baal Hai To Tu Agrawal Hai”
Ab Teesre Ka Number Aaya, Sawami Ji Ne Dekha Ki Na Uske Aage Baal Hai Aur Na Hi Peeche.
To Sawami Ji Ne Uski Gaand Marna Shuru Kar Diya, Wo Aadmi Bola: “Sawami Ji, Bahut Dukhta Hai”
To Sawami Lunnacharya Bole: “Beta, Fir Tu Gupta Hai“

 

Choot Bahut Hi Mahaan Hai, Iska Andaja Is Bat Se Lagya Ja Sakta Hai Ki Hum Isko Kayi Naamo Se Pukar Sakte Hai, Jaisi Pussy, Yoni, Fuddi, Bhonsdi Aur Khas Kar Teri Maa Ki …… Ke Bad Kuch Bhi Lagao Uska Arath Sirf Choot Se Hi Hota Hai.
Yun To Kisi Bhi Keemat Par Choot Ka Mol Nahi Kiya Ja Satka, Kyunki Yahi Jeevan Hai Aur Ye Anmol Hai, Randi Khane Ki Tarakki Ka Yahi Ek Matar Karan Hai.
Esa Nahi Hai Ki Koi Bhi Ladki Chudna Nahi Chahti, Har Ladki Ke Apne Khawab Hai Aur Kuch Ummeede – Isliye Sahi Aadmi Aur Waqt Ki Talash Har Ladki Ko Hoti Hai.

 

Madam Ne Class Mein Bachho Se Puchha
“Batao Bachho, Sansar Ka Sabse Majedar Kam Konsa Hota Hai?”
Pinky: “Madam Ji, Sabse Achha Kam Hai Sajna Sanvarna”
Rinku: “Madam, Sabse Achha Kam Hai Dusro Ki Seva Karna”
Pappu: “Madam Ji, Duniya Ka Sabse Acha Kaam Hai Chodna”
Madam Ne Ye Suna Aur Bhadak Gayi Aur Boli
“Besharam Tujhe Sharam Nahi Aati, Ghar Jaa Aur Ek Letter Pe Sorry Ki Application Likh Ke Uspar Apne Dad Se Sign Karva Ke Kal Mere Ko Dikhana… Samjhe?”
Agle Din Madam
“Pappu, Maine Tumhe Sorry Ki Application Pe Daddy Ke Sign Karva Ke Lane Ko Kaha Tha, Laaye Ho Ya Nahi?”
Pappu: “Madam Ji Mene Is Bare Mein Dad Se Baat Kari To Vo Bhi Bole Ki Sansar Ka Sabje Majhedar Kam Chodna Hi Hota Hai Aur Mera Baap Aisi Kisi Madarchod, Bad-Dimag Aurat Ko Apne Sign To Kya Land Tak Nahi Dena Chahte, Jise Chudayi Se Nafrat Ho”

 

Ek Bar Ek Chorni Chori Karte Hue Pakdi Gayi, Use Pakad Ke Police Station Laya Gaya
Constable Ne Use Kaha: “Chal Teri Statement Leni Hai” Aur Ye Kah Ke Usko Pakad Ke Chod Diya
Phir Sub Inspector Bola: “Chal Statement De” Aur Usne Bhi Usko Ragad Diya
Isi Tarha Inspector Ne Bhi Usko Kaha Statement De Aur Sex Kar Liya
Agle Din Usko Court Mein Pesh Kiya Gaya To Majestriate Bola: “Teri Statement Leni Hai, Tujhe Kuch Kahna Hai?”
Chorni Hath Jod Ke Boli: “Judge Saab, Statement To Suji Hui Hai Aap Kal Le Lena“

 

Ek Ladki Ka Pati Naukri Karta Tha, Pati Ke Naukri Jane Ke Bad Vo Apne Premi Ko Ghar Pe Bulati Aur Dinka Chika Karti
Ek Din Uska Premi Uske Liye Bade Sunder Sandal Aur Kapde Leke Aaya
Ladki Ne Sandal Aur Kapde Pahan Liye, Dekhne Mein Wo Sexy Lagi To  Premi Ne Usko Sandal Pahne Pahne Bed Pe Lita Liya
Dono Dinka Chika Karna Shuru Ho Gaye, Itne Mein Kisi Kam Se Uska Pati Ghar Aa Gaya
Pati Ne Darwaja Khola Hi Tha Ki Usko Andar Se Badi Erotic Oooh Aaah Ki Awajein Aane Lagi
To Vo Khidki Ke Pass Khada Hoke Ye Sab Dekhne Lag Gaya
Ladki Ne Apne Premi Se Puchha: “Janu Ye Sandals Kitne Din Chalengi?”
Premi Dinka Chika Karne Mein Mast Tha, Usne Dhyan Nahi Diya
Ladki Ne Fir 2 Minute Baad Pucha: “Janu, Batao Na, Ye Sandals Kab Tak Chalengi?”
Premi Ko Hosh Hi Nahi Tha, Vo To Apne Kam Mein Mast Tha
Par Itna Sunte Hi Bahar Khidki Ke Pas Khada Pati Chilla Ke Bola
“Bahan Ki Lodi, Isi Tarha Padi Rahegi To Zindagi Bhar Nahi Tootengi?“.

 

Ek Chuha Jungle Mein Badi Tezi Se Bhaaga Ja Rahe Thha
Lomdi Ne Dekha Aur Uske Aage Aake Khadi Ho Gayi Aur Puchha
Lomdi: “Itne Teji Se Kaha Bhage Ja Rahe Ho?”
Chuha: “Aunty Please Abhi Jane Do Fir Bataunga”
Lomdi Hairani Hui Aur Boli: “Arey Hua Kya Hai?”
Chuha Hath Jodte Hue: “Please Jane Do Meri Jaan Ka Sawal Hai”
Lomdi Gusse Se Boli: “Main Tumhe Tab Tak Nahi Jane Dungi Jab Tak Bataoge Nahi Ki Hua Kya Hai”
Chuha Rote Hue: “Kisi Ne Sher Ki Bahan Ki Choot Fad Dali Aur Naam Mera Laga Diya Hai“

 

Ek Baar Sher Ke Man Mein Sex Karne Ki Aa Gayi To Wo Bander Ko Bola.
Sher: “Aaja Gand Maarna Khelte Hai”
Bander: “Pehle Main Marunga“
Sher Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “Theek Hai”
Bander Ne Ek Ghante Tak Sher Ki Tasalli Se Maari Aur Maarne Ke Baad Bhaag Gaya.
Sher Ko Bada Gussa Aya Aur Vo Bhi Uske Piche Bhaag Liya.
Dhundte Dhundte Sher Ek Gaanv Mein Pahucha.
Wahaa Ek Aadmi Nahane Ki Taiyari Mein Apne Kapde Aur Newspaper Table Par Rakh Kar Nahane Chala Gaya.
Bander Ne Dekha Aur Uske Kapde Pahne Aur Newspaper Padne Ka Natak Karte Hue Table Par Beth Gaya.
Itne Mein Sher Bhaga-Bhaga Aaya Aur Bahar Bethe Bander Se Puchha.
Sher: “Aapne Kisi Bander Ko Jate Hue Dekha Hai?”
Bander: “Wahi Bander Na, Jisne Aapki Gaand Mari Hai?”
Sher Ke To Tote Udd Gaye Aur Hairani Se Bola: “Ji, Par Aap Ko Kaise Pata Chala”
Bander: “Akhbar Mein Headline Hai – Bander Ne Sher Ki Maar Li.“

 

Hamare Pyare Dost Anuj Ka Kafi Time Se Ek Ladki Ke Sath Affair Chal Raha Tha.
Usne Socha Ki Dekhu To Sahi Usne Mobile Mein Mera Number Kis Naam Se Save Kiya Hua Hai, Janu, Jaan Ya Sweetu.
Ek Din Usne Uska Dhayan Banta Ke Mobile Chori Kiya Aur Apne Mobile Se Uspar Ring Kar Ke Dekha To Likha Aaya
Chutiya No. 3 Is Calling
————
To Friends Aap Log Bhi Aaj Se Ye Check Karna Shuru Kar De, Kya Pata Asliyat Samne Aa Hi Jaye

 

Jaisa Ki Aap Pahle Pad Chuke Hai Ki Jab Ladka Aur Laki First Time Milte Hai To Unki Kya Thinking Hoti Hai
Isi Tarha Aaj Padte Hai Ki Boys Aur Girls Ke Baat Karne Mai Kya Fark Hota Hai:
Girl: “Yaha Kya Kar Rhe Ho?”
Boy: “Yaha Kya Maa Chudwa Rha Hai?”
Girl: “Maine Aapko Kya Kaha?”
Boy: “Maine Kya Teri Gaand Maar Lee?”
Girl: “Aap Itni Tez Kyo Chal Rhe Ho?”
Boy: “Teri Gaand Mai Aag Lagi Hai Kya?”
Girl: “Tum To Bewakuf Ho”
Boy: “Tu To Lodu Hai”
Girl: “Disturb Mat Karo”
Boy: “Gaand Mein Ungli Mat Kar Bhosdi Ke”
Girl: “Aaj To Ghar Walo Se Daant Padi”
Boy: “Aaj To Lode Lag Gye Bhosdi Ke.“

 

Kisi Award Mein Duniya Bhar Ke Heroes Ikathe Hue.
Vaha Apne Pyare Rajnikaant Ji Bhi Gaye.
Sare Heroes Apni Apni Ameeri Ki Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe
Kisi Baat Pe Hollywood Actor Tom Cruise Ki Apne Rajnikaant Se Bahas Ho Gayi
Tom Cruise: “Bhonsdi Ke, Mera Ghar Itna Bada Hai Ki Usme Local Train Chalti Hai.”
Rajnikant: “Oye Maa Ke Lode Cruise, Mere Ghar Ke Kone Mein Jaake Mobile Pe Baat Karo To Roaming Charge Lagne Shuru Ho Jate Hai“

 

Pathan Sahab Nadi Ke Kinare Ek Gadhi Ko Chodne Ki Koshish Kar Rahe Thhe.
Par Wo Jab Bhi Uske Adner Dalta, Gadhi Laat Maar Ke Niche Gira Deti.
Ye Sab Ho Hi Raha Thha To, Usko Ek Ladki Nadi Mein Dubti Najar Aayi.
Pathan Ji Ne Bahudri Dikha Ke Kisi Tarha Se Usko Bacha Liya.
Ladki Ko Jab Saans Vapis Aya To Pathan Se Boli.
Ladki: “Pathan Ji, Aapne Aaj Meri Jaan Bachayi Hai, Aap Jo Kuch Bhi Kahoge Main Karungi”
Pathan Ne Kuch Der Socha Aur Bola.
Pathan: “Oye, To Fir Tum Hamare Liye Is Gadhi Ki Taangein Pakad Ke Rakho“

 

Ek Baar Gaanv Mein Ek Gareeb Kisaan Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hui.
Ab Bechara Vo Gareeb Itna Tha Ki Unke Makaan Mein Ek Hi Kamra Thha,
So Usne Socha Ki Room Ko Divide Kar Deta Hun Aur Usne Room Ke Center Mein Ek Bada Sa Parda Taang Diya Jis Se Room Ke Do Partitions Ho Gaye,.
Suhagrat Par Beta Jab Full Speed Se Nayi Dulhan Ko Chod Raha Thha, To Ye Dekh Ke Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Kisaan Ko Bola Ki Tu Bhi Shuru Ho Ja.
Kuch Der Karne Ke Bad Kisaan Thak Gaya, Par Uska Beta Laga Raha, Kisaan Ki Biwi Ne Fir Usko Karne Ko Bola.
Teen Baar Esa Ho Chuka Thha, Par Beta Jawan Thha Chauthi Baar Bhi Uper Chadd Gaya.
Par Budhe Kisaan Ki Gaand Fatt Chuki Thhi, So Vo Utha Aur Parde Ki Side Pe Jake Bete Se Bola.
“Beta Kahe Ko Competition Kar Raha Hai, Maa To Teri Hi Chud Rahi Hai“

 

Ek Baar Ek Bande Ki Shadi Hui, Par Suhagrat Manane Se Pahle Hi Uska Accident Ho Gaya Aur Vo Bechara Bhagwan Ko Pyara Ho Gaya.
Patni Puri Sati Savitri Thhi, Usne Pati Ka Land Kaat Liya Aur Usko Apne Ghar Ki Deewar Se Chipka Diya.
Roj Raat Ko Vo Deewar Pe Jaati Aur Lund Se Sex Karke Apni Pyaas Bhuja Leti.
Ek Din Uske Sath Wale Padosi Ne Jiska Naamm Kaaliya Thha, Ye Sab Dekh Aur Ek Scheme Sochi.
Usne Deewar Mein Ek Surakh Kiya Aur Uske Pati Ka Lund Hata Ke Raat Ko Apna Lund Deewar Mein Dal Ke Khada Ho Gaya.
Roz Ki Tarha Raat Ko Patni Aayi, Uske Hath Mein Ek Chaku (Knife) Thha, Usne Lund Ko Kaata Aur Hath Mein Leke Boli
Patni: “Jaanu, Chalo Aaj Se Hum Ab Naye Ghar Mein Shift Ho Rahe Hai“

 

Akki

But First ,let Me Introduce Myself Properly,I'm Akki .I'm A Blogger Writer. I Love Blogging And Guide Others People About Blogging Also.

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